Kid Yells Back at Mom

It’s fairly easy to say not to show your angry emotions in front of kids. It scares them. Too much of it and it makes them cry. Children frequently exposed to heated confrontations will make them think it’s a normal behavior. Sooner or later they will adapt and then learn by imitating. Get the idea what’s going to happen next?

I have a gorgeous 3 year old baby daughter. Yes, at her age, I still consider her my baby. She’s my first and also the first to make my in-laws grandparents. Naturally she gets the best spoils from everyone else in the family. Whatever my baby desires, she gets it.

I know what you’re thinking. No, she’s not a bratty kid - she just g-gets what… s-she… wants. Ok I admit, her lolo and lola inadvertently nurtured her into a cute little monster.

My baby stays with her grannies most of the day because… you know – busy parents. She cries louder t louder than most 7-year olds, by the way, probably the reason why she’s constantly pampered with goodies from their sari-sari store, her lola found it amusing when she asks for more.

The problem with this is our daughter eventually favored junk food over proper meals. This is understandable. For me, candies and chocolates do taste better than rice and vegetable soup. Makes me wonder if I passed on this trait genetically to my daughter.

Now my wife who is ever SO patient at work dealing with err… patients, is not so (one more time) patient with our daughter’s table manners. She will try to use her arsenal of persuasion techniques just so our baby would finish her meal. Each scoop is a struggle between mother and daughter – one giving the best possible meal on the table and the other asking for the most flavorsome candy at lola’s store.

An epic meal battle ensues leaving me the only winner – I was able to finish my plate (burp).

My wife ends up frustrated and angry, screeching words that would make ear plugs on top of your wish lists. Baby daughter on the other hand, now crying from the trauma of mommy’s noise barrage, is still asking for that candy.

Almost every feeding scenario between them would end up like this. But with each time our daughter cries less and starts to deal (imitate actually) with mommy. She’ll either give mommy a shrug or repeat what mommy has just yelled.

The first time she return-screamed was really fascinating for us. Wow… she’s got attitude! This should be included in her milestones. But the more she does it, the more we realize it really is not entertaining.

Maybe my wife has gotten too loud too many times enforcing discipline that our daughter got the wrong impression. Time for calm daddy to intervene and try to clear things up a bit more (gulp) easily. At that time though, I have exactly no idea of what to say.

I just carried my daughter to another room explaining gently that it is not proper for her to shout back at mom. That mommy is only doing it for her to obey. That she may not always get what she wants but mom and dad will always give what is best for her.

(Photo courtesy of www.microsoft.com)

Simple Way to Make a Child Obey

For a 3 year old or any other child for that matter, everything has to be fun. That’s why during meal time they run; they get bored sitting on one place. Or when watching Barney DVD, they dance. And even during nap time, they jump incessantly making it impossible for you to sleep.

On the other hand, parents enjoy watching their children play. Especially when, at their young age, they pretend to be grown-ups and try to do the things that we do.

What’s even amusing is when they start to demonstrate their creativeness. Dolls become babies, battery-operated animals become the real thing, and household wares become their toys.

When they’ve grown tired of playing they just leave their play things behind. Creating a mess is their expertise, returning them to order is a back-bending task they leave to their parents. Argh!

Last night, my daughter was having fun with her flash cards. She asked me to play with her and so I did. I then laid out a few cards on the bed forming a crude shape of a fish. She’s all smiles at my creation and took the rest of the cards I was holding. She then proceeded to create her own art and made her daddy proud

Bed time came, my wife asked her to clean up her mess. Even though hesitating, my daughter shoved everything to the floor. Too tired to argue, my wife asked me to make our daughter obey. No problem. My daughter doesn’t like to see me angry so I’m 100% sure I can make her.

Boy I was wrong. The minute I told her she just covered herself with pillow. Angered, I made her sit from where I was. I ordered her again, she didn’t make an effort. Now I’m losing patience. But no matter how I asked her she won’t move a limb.

Then came the waiting game. I knew she will get tired of sitting and will eventually go to bed. The moment she tried climbing the bed I stopped her. I made her a deal that if she likes to go to bed I’d let her but only after she picks up her “cardy” mess.

No good, she preferred to sit than clean up. I can see that she’s tired but I just wanted her to comply. I have to otherwise she wins… again (sigh).

Hmm… last try. Since I had the laptop open, I decided to play her new favorite cartoon – Tarzan. The intro caught her attention. I tried to deal with her again that I’ll let her watch Tarzan if only she’ll comply with what I’ve been asking her.

Eager to watch, she started piling up her flash cards. Wow, I finally made her! I think I know what to do next time.

Rewarding kids for their good behavior may not be the optimum approach but I consider it healthier than employing physical intimidation.

(Photo from www.microsoft.com)